Now that we’ve strayed from the sensitive topic of consent, we can discuss another deviation from the “ideal”. I think it’s also a good time to point out that in this blog, I occasionally compare my Facets to each other in terms of morality, biology, etc. Thus, I’d like to point out that that doesn’t mean that I think the violation of one is equal to the other. If I compare the Facet of Gender to the Facet of Adulthood, for example, I am not automatically saying that gay marriage is tantamount to pedophilia. Our culture, and I believe rightly so, looks down on pedophilia far more than homosexuality. But in comparing the two deviations, we can think and learn about the two tenets and the merit of our beliefs. Capisce?

Now, let’s break down our idealization of sex being between two people.

For some reason, the sexual ethic that favors two people seems to be the most widely violated of all of them. By that I mean that people find the most creative ways to deviate from the status quo. Now, deviancy in this regard ranges from mild to extreme, so this is one of the harder tenets to define. There are several deviations I can think of from the “Two People” ideal, and probably each one deserves its own blog post. I’ll try to be as clinical as possible, so as not to venture into topics that don’t bear fleshing out. Here’s what I could come up with:

Serial Monogamy – Lots of people, but only two at one time

Polygamy/Polyandry – Multiple spouses

Masturbation/Pornography – Alone

Dildos – Alone, but with objects

Threesomes/Orgies/polyamory – More than two people

Bestiality – Animals

Necrophilia – Dead people

So these things run the gamut from pretty tame to pretty repulsive. Mostly I think that has to do with other taboo factors compiling into the concept of deviating just the one sexual norm.

I think it’s safe to say that our preference for two people is tied pretty closely to reproduction. Since it takes a man and a woman to reproduce, the idea of two people having sex seems to follow logically. Some ideologies hold the twosome more highly than others, and Christianity is included in that number. Polygamy is moderately common in the Bible, even among spiritual -ahem- “Fathers” like David and Solomon, but it always seemed to me like they consummated two at a time. I admit I’m not entirely sure about that.

What at least I consider to be a more interesting question is along these lines: When considering the ideal sexual context, most of the facets are the way they are because of biology. ‘Two people’, ‘sexually mature’, ‘male and female’: all of these are necessities for reproduction. So why is the most extreme deviation in our culture considered to be consent?” It leads me to believe that there are other factors beyond a survival instinct that affect our sexual ethics. It doesn’t have to be God, or Allah, or Vishnu, but that moral must come from somewhere, and I think that origin is important to know about. Especially if you want to have any grounds for authority in an argument about sexual norms and what should be acceptable. We’ll get into all that later.

Photo by Anthony from Pexels


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